Christmas and the holiday period in general can be a difficult time for people. We often feel pressured to present as happy, attend copious events and engage with people we otherwise would choose not to see – and we feel like we can’t say no or we’ll be labelled as “The Grinch”.
It’s important when we go into the holiday period to consider our own needs, we do not have to put others first just because it’s Christmas. Take some time to reflect on your values, your wants, your needs and see how these align with Christmas.
Perhaps you’ve had a really tough year (or a few – thanks COVID!) and finances aren’t where they were last year and this means you won’t be able to have the same type of Christmas as years past – that’s okay! Maybe, you’ve been rushed off your feet up until Christmas eve and need to take Christmas day to recharge – celebrate another time, or don’t if that’s what you prefer.
The holiday periods aren’t automatically filled with joy, they may be, but maybe not. Consider what the holidays mean for you and ensure that you try to live in line with your values, preferences and wants. You do not have to meet other people’s expectations just because it’s a holiday…
Consider: How do your values align with Christmas?
Our quick tips
01.
Acknowledge your feelings
Noticing and sitting with your feelings is probably the last thing you want if you find the holidays difficult, but it’s worthwhile! This review and noticing allows you to check in with yourself about what you want and need during this period.
If you are noticing sadness, anger, or fear, ask yourself how this will be served by the holidays – what will make this better or worse? Does this usually come up at this time of year?
How can you help yourself either sit with this discomfort, or change your circumstances to alleviate it?
02.
Stick to a budget
This one might be coming a bit late for this year, but now is a good time to reflect on how you went.
It’s not uncommon to find yourself spending more than is manageable during the holiday periods and then having to scramble afterwards to make this up and cover those January bills. Consider setting a budget and sticking to this for gifts, food, decorations, this can help to remove some of the stress of the holiday.
03.
Set realistic expectations
Be realistic about what is coming – if you’ve never had a calm and peaceful holiday, is it reasonable to expect this one will be different if no one has tried to change it?
Things change overtime, with children growing up, people moving away, finances changing. Consider yours and your family’s situation when planning for Christmas and setting your expectations. If you expect something that isn’t realistic, you won’t get it, and this will set you up for a poor holiday experience
04.
Say “No” and set boundaries
Allow yourself to say “no” and set boundaries with people during the holiday. Just because you did something last year does not mean your situation is the same and you can do it this year.
You do not have to attend events you don’t feel safe at, and you CAN say “no, I won’t be coming”. Don’t elaborate, don’t offer excuses, just offer a clear statement.
You do not need to be bullied into things because it will make “X” happy, or “it’s Christmas – it’s only one day a year!”. If it’s not reasonable to ask you to do this on any other day, Christmas does not make this suddenly okay.
05.
Plan time for self-care
You may still choose to agree to things that you’d prefer not to – that’s okay! If this happens, plan some extra time for self-care, this could be you time, time with friends, time to do something you love (even if it’s not Christmasy!).
This is the time that you need to recharge and it is 100% OKAY to take this time.
If any of these tips resonate with you, consider sharing this post – you won’t be alone.
